The genuinity of unrequited love

This is the love that genuine and real. It’s genuine because it wishes to see the person it loves happy though it pains its heart beyond expectation. And above all, it’s real. Because, it doesn’t ask to reciprocate the love it offers. It believes that the person doesn’t oblige to give love because he must. Instead, it gives freedom and space. The love it gives isn’t demanding though it wanted to. But it chooses the love who provides warm and solace.

Well, this is my core definition of one-sided love. It may sound like a martyr – girl – who – fell – in – love – to – the – impossible. Maybe it is. Or it really is. Some things in our life are uncontrollable in a way that involves another person. And if it is, you need to cooperate with one another. But the sad reality of unrequited love is ‘just you’. Only you who feels that strange feeling, who cares, and expects something deeper will happen in the two of you. Expectation hurts. I know. The situation is obvious to you, still, your denial. Simply because you aren’t ready to accept the reality. You aren’t ready to hurt yourself that much.

All these years, I’ve been there — struggling to let him know I exist in his world. I want him to notice me not just as a friend but as a woman who can be his future prospect for loving a person. No wonder I tried to change myself for the best wishing that it could get his attention. But it didn’t change how he looks at me. He still gives me the same look — the look you receive from a friend, the gaze without admiration and special meaning. The realization hits me that he doesn’t feel the same way. And will never do. How stupid I am to realize it this long?

This might be the saddest reality you ever heard. Yes, it is. It makes me wondered my self-worth. Makes me questions myself, Am I not enough? Am I not deserve to love by someone? Okay, you can pity me now. Maybe this is my punishment for defying the unspoken rule of friendship “friends should stay friends no matter what” But what can I do? It’s somehow my feelings came unexpectedly that I am not aware of it. This is love, after all, it tends to play with your feelings. A tricky thing if you let it deceive you, you will lose the game.

And I admit, I lose the game of love. But I’m certain I also win. Because, I’ve learned how to take one-sided love in a positive way. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t force someone to love you back. It doesn’t matter if he knows or not. Love him the way you want it and accept the love he can offer even if it means Platonic love. Don’t expect him to love you the way you love him because genuine love doesn’t ask for a return, it means seeing the person you love happy even if it’s with someone else. It’s okay. Taking risk is means love after all.

I’m telling you the one who’s reading this, be who you are because that what makes you attractive, I must say, never give up on love. Someday it will find you. Things happen because it has a reason. It mightn’t be obvious now, but I believe it has. And you must too. I know there’s no certain things in this world but humans have faith which powerful enough that it could make things possible. Maybe you are hurt because he isn’t the one for you. But if he is, I know fate will find ways for you to have a happy ever after with the love of your life. Your faith can grant your heart’s wish. You just need to believe that it can.